Lonesome

Just when I thought I am the loneliest person in the world...
And old man walked into the restaurant..
"How can I help you, Sir?"
"Table for one please."
"This way please."
"My partner, the other person is gone."
"Really? Where did that person go?"
"She's gone forever."
He, however, still managed to put a smile on his face.
Maybe, he did not want me to feel bad for him.
Maybe, he is already used to it.
Maybe, he is trying to hide the pain he has inside.
Maybe, he is weird.
Or maybe, he is just a lonely old man.

That moment, I asked myself.. What am I to compare with this guy?
My loneliness is temporary.. I do have friends.
I do have family.
They are just not here, at this current moment.

But,
His loneliness is permanent.
Whenever we lose someone, we tell ourselves that person will always be in our heart.
But things won't be the same without being able to touch that person.
Knowing that person is around watching you, but never could be sure.

When the wind blows, I feel you.
When my door closes, I feel you.
When the bird flies, I feel you.
When there's butterfly, I feel you.
But where exactly are you?

I guess learning how to appreciate someone is crucial.

Thank you old man.

Now I am even more scared of growing old.

Stage

Let's hope I am going to finish writing before I decide to hit "Back" button and choose not to save this blog. I have this complicated feeling that I want to tell the world, but I don't know how am I going to put this into words.

Today was a long day of pretty good flash back.
I finally get to have my favorite kind of "busy."
I spent whole day working on stage, and even though it's hard, it's my favorite thing to do.
It was almost like how it used to be...
Woke up early in the morning... checked.
Spend more than half a day at the venue building stages.... checked.
But too bad I had to go work in between.
I got my work done, but I missed the fun.
And by the time I got back, time to break all setups and load them back to truck.
Final checkup...
then go home.
I felt like something is missing.
Maybe because it ended too soon.
Maybe because I missed the most important part of it.
Maybe I was too tired.
Maybe I am having my "down" period.
Maybe I am just being emo.
I guess I am not missing the kind of hectic I used to have.
Nobody like being tired, although it feels good.
It's not the exhaustion that I missed, it's the fun.
The fun getting together early in the morning and have breakfast together.
The fun putting pieces together.
The fun having breaks in between.
Also, the ending...
Hugging each other, telling each other what a wonderful job u've done.
And then go have some bak kut teh on the way home.
A table full of hungry and tired kids, finishing uncountable meatballs.
And laugh about how it happened....


*sigh*