Goodbye Longchamp

This is a story about a girl who lost everything..
Her music,
Her people,
Her beauty,
Her love,
Luckily,
Not her life.

On Saturday night, she happily went to her friend's house for a birthday surprise.
She bought a cake, she had present, she also had a laptop on her hand.
If you wonder why she has a laptop for a birthday surprise, let me tell you why.
Because her friend's friends who are also her friends are away from this city,

But no worries, technology makes it possible to connect people around the globe.
Thanks to Sandy who provided the wi-fi internet (wth is Sandy?).
Back to the sad story,
While she is busy getting the people n the stuffs ready, she left her bag in the car.
Her friend was happy, other friends were really enjoying the in the midnight too.
Something unexpected happened,
they did not go home directly after the surprise, they went in to birthday girl's house and talked for freakin' 2 hours.
What a fun night....
3 a.m.,
another unexpected thing happened.
Her friend's car's window apparently had broken into pieces.
Inside were empty seats,
which means,
HER BAG IS GONEEEEE!!!!!
*Phuck!*
Along with that, another's girl bag is also gone.
By the way the girl is me, whichever girl I mentioned, whatever, out bags are gone now.
So I lost my iPod, it's been really lonely journey everyday without you.
My lovely pinkish phone.. mum got it for me Summer :(
I miss my phone.. I miss my little Judah (my nephew's pic was my wallpaper).
Lost my purse, with money, cards and identification inside.
*Sucks!*
Also lost other personal stuffs, such as make up bag full with goodies etc.
The weird thing is, I didn't feel that bad at first.
I was just.. confused, don't know what to do.
But now, when I think back and start counting my lost, my heart aches.
I guess that whole bag has $700 worth of goodies.
Sorry Mum, I failed to protect the phone :'(

The next day, I went to buy a new phone, it's a Blackberry.
I am kinda happy,
but whenever I feel happy, I also feel guilty, felt like I just betrayed my pinkish old Samsung phone. I miss u my friend, I miss you so much.
I was hoping there is an angel in this thief,
he might sent you back to me...
But I know it won't happen :(
I hope he/she will find u a good owner.. Take care darling.

Oh and also my Longchamp bag and Anna Sui wallet, I miss u guys very mucho tooooo!!!!

But oh well, take is as a lesson. NEVER EVER leave your bag in the car!!!
Since New Year is right around the corner,
I found myself some excuse to get everything brand new.
Okayy.. Sounds better now..

The Last Song

While still developing my Holiday to-do list,
I decided to add "Read a book" in my list, because I miss sitting around a cafe with a cup of favorite drink while doing some reading. Since semester was over, no more exam, no more studying, no more books. Scratch that, let's get a book.

Went to Green Apple bookstore 25 minutes before work, browse around but nothing caught my eye. Wanted something light, romance, stories, and not to thick. So finally I bought, The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks.

Why this? Well I ended up in front of a shelve of used books, and Nicholas Sparks was the ONLY author I know (this again is telling me that I should read more). Nicholas Sparks, the writer of The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, The Lucky One, and many more. Yes, I never read them, but they are all in motion picture. Open the first page, it reads " Seventeen-year-old Veronica Miller's was turned upside down when her parents divorced and her father moved from New York City to Wrightsville.................." Soon it mentioned Will, the heart throb. Okay, family drama, teenage girl meets the teenage guy and they fell in love. Simple, I'm SOLD.

While trying to search a picture for this post, I found out that this book is also going to be in MOTION PICTURE! *scream!* Miley Cyrus is playing Ronnie, the main female character. I watched the trailer and I'm kinda excited now XD It's an awesome preview for the book, I can't wait to start reading now. Yea Yea Yeaaaaa :)

'Happy' Monday

After working for so many days, and going to work for so many days more.
Today I finally got a day off, and I was very determined to make it a Happy Monday.
So last night, I spent all night trying to figure out what I'm going to do today..
Eventually, some people already had some plans going on,
some people were unsure, some people were up to nothing~

8: 30 a.m. , cousin knocked on my door.
Holy shit, I didn't hear my alarm, it's time to go,
I had 10minutes to get ready.
Brushed my teeth n washed my face,
no bath no hair wash no proper concealing n no mascara,
my hair was still greasy from work the night before,
it was totally nastie*

Got home around 10:00 a.m., went out again at 12:00 p.m.,
decided to spend my Monday catching up box office.
Kevin was there,
K.O after one movie 'cause he didn't sleep last night.
So it was Yao and me,
we watched 3 movies and he was freakin' tired.

Went to downtown at 8 p.m.,
suddenly felt like to watch WICKED so bad,
Arrived at Orpheum Theater at 9:00 p.m.,
found out that the show started an hour ago, NOOOOOOOO!!!!

It was freezing out there,
the wind was blowing so hard,
it felt like 5 a.m. chill,
I feel like myself at 5 a.m.,
that nasty dirty feeling from this morning still sticks around my body.
It's been a really confusing day, I don't even know what I've been doing.

Did I mention Boss called at 04:52 p.m., trying to get me to work tonight.
Hell no,
it's my ONLY day off, please don't take it away.
I simply said I'm out of town,
left her with no words to say but "goodbye."

Okay. I am kinda sleepy now,
get some sleep,
wake up early tomorrow and gotta meet my girls,
eat breakfast together and send Etika to airport.

GOODNIGHT world! It's 12:27 a.m. :D

Dear John,

DEAR JOHN,
it's been a wonderful time with 'you,'
although my face is still blemished,
but I'm glad that I found you.
I enjoyed your companion,
you keep a balance between oily and dry.
Thank you.

And now,
I found 'HOPE in a jar,'
Everybody loves you.
U smell like sea salt,
when you are around,
I felt like I am standing in the middle of a deserted beach.
U smell like raw seafood,
I love seafood, but not raw,
Oh...
Imma give you one chance,
Your goodness will cover your flaws,
hope-fully.

Okay, it's always hard to say 'goodbye,' I'm glad I finished my whole jar of moisturizer :)

SO,
I am still obsessed with mascara minis and perfume minis,
since the last time I had a picture with handful of mascaras,
a lot new members joined in for my collection :D

I heard that mascara can only live for 4 months, how sad :(

HAPPY HOLIDAY

HAPPY HOLIDAY WORLD!

Final is over FINALLY. I wasn't that excited actually, since there were so many huggings and goodbyes, it was kinda sad that this semester is OVER :'( It's been a very wonderful semester! Probably one of the best I've ever had. But I've also had too much fun,that grade-wise, this semester didn't go that well. Now all I can do is pray hard, and hope that I'll pass all my classes. YES, pass is enough, C is 'Can already laaaah!'

Holiday means that no more deadlines to rush,
no more studying at cafe before work,
no more work after school..
Holiday means that I will be free,
EVERY DAY,
Note that DAY, it is day.
And day means from sunset to sun dawn.
That means I will only be free when sun is around.
When sun goes home,
my holiday fairytale will end,
and I have to go back to where I am.
No 'HoliNight' for work.
But it's okay, someone has to take the job,
to make sure some other people are having GREAT holiday.
GREAT.................

Lady GaGa

Went to AMOEBA today trying to find a CD for my project,
didn't know what album to buy..

So I ended up with this one.. LADY GAGA : The Fame Monster... *Meow-fit-choooooo*

Well, I guess it's okay.. I love "Telephone" and "Teeth"
Just realized that none of them are use-able for my project.. GAGA!
Anyway, I had a really good pizza today from ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK at Haight Ashbury.. OMG, I'm craving for it now.. How I love CARBS.

I'm so tired right now.. Just wanna share this album I just bought:D

Happy Thursday

HAPPY THURSDAY :)

Although I failed to go to gym today,

Ate too many bagels and too much candies.
But it's okay,
I had a great time at home.
Sometimes the best thing to do is simply take a break and have a little rest.
I can't remember the last time I got home before sun set,
I almost forgot how good it feels like to take a nap,
room was dark with a little light from outside that shine through my window,

Oh I miss you home :)
I spent some good time grooming you up,

Holiday is coming,
we will have more quality time together soon :)


But I still regret not going to gym,

I will go, tomorrow.


Oh I also made myself dinner, prawn curry with potatoesssss :d

The chef in me shone today ^.^

Oh my bed is calling again,
time for some beauty sleep world :)

Life

Monday night,
I had an unusual talk with my YeQ.
It started with me being really serious for the sake of being funny....
Then "How's life?" popped out.
It's been all about craziness whenever we are together.
Acting like pill dealers at a moment, and the next moment we are acting out some dramatic scene from Korean drama.
I guess we had spend too much time fooling around with each other,
we barely had a good look inside our lives.
All we see from each other is that big smile each time we make each other laugh.
Whenever I see her, I am always complaining.
Complain is such a shallow thing to say.
But deep inside my heart, there is another me which my girl never knew.
There is another me who always encourage myself,
'she' tells her that life is full of ups and downs,
'she' tells her that everything happened for a good reason,
and 'she' says that life is like jumping on a trampoline,
the lower you go, the harder you hit the ground,
the higher you will bounce..
Living each day is like jumping on that trampoline,
it's scary but it's exciting :)
Although so many millions times, I've been giving in and out of myself,
'she' always give me a reason to move on.
Life is interesting,
you never know what awaits you tomorrow.
I am trying very hard, to be very strong here.
I don't have any regrets,
I don't blame fate when life is hard.
I believe that the hardships are there for a reason,
it teaches me lessons and it makes me a better person.
So I hope other girls out there feel the same way too,
don't let simple things bring you down.
don't let trouble blinded your eyes with tears,
this world is so much prettier if you just try.. to feel it.

Marc Jacobs

God, look at this guy to my left.
Anybody know who is he?
He is the legendary Marc Jacobs!
Yea, he does look a little weird in this picture,
I still love you anyway, Marc.
Although, I still can't afford you.
Not even Marc by Marc Jacobs.
All I got is your neon pink bag,
which I have used until it worn out.
I have dreamed to visit your store at Filmore.
Maybe I should,
It looks huge,
bigger Marc Jacobs store means bigger chance to find a good buy :)
Okay Marc,
I will see u soon.

Okay enough about me dreaming for a Marc Jacobs.
You should have known him, you should.

Marc Jacobs was only 16 when he started working as a stock boy at the influential Upper West Side boutique Charivari. It was there that he first met Perry Ellis-the designer who, Jacobs say, encouraged him to apply to Parsons the New School for Design and mentored him while he was a student. 8 years later, Jacobs produced his infamous grunge collection for the Perry Ellis label. It was also at Charivari that Jacobs sold his first pieces, a collection of oversize, hand-knit sweaters that he designed while at Parsons (his grandmother made the original samples), the popularity of which he still refers to as "kind of my first big break."
Today Jacobs is one of the most well-known and closely wtched designers in the world, helming his own signature label, a diffusion laine, and the French luxury brand Louis Vuitton. But he shies away from offering explicit advice to anyone looking to duplicare his success : "I hate the word advice" he explains. "It's not a mathematical situation. I'm happy to share my experience, but everybody has a different path."

Noticed dramatic improvement in my writing? The last 2 paragraphs were actually a direct huge quotation from Teen Vogue Handbook, my new bible :)

For people who is aiming to be a designer, here is an advice..

Get your stuffs out there! When Jacobs created his first line of sweaters, his pals wore them all around town. Photos of the knits ended up in the newspaper, which generated buzz about the designer.

Everybody was like "Who is Marc Jacobs?"

Now you know.

Love is Blind

Everybody says : "Love is blind."
I still find it hard to understand that statement, somehow use it all the time.
Watchin' my friend getting so miserable, I have nothing else to say but that love is blind.
'Love' drives people crazy,
but how can you be so sure that what you feel is 'love'?
I would love to say that you are blinded by 'love'.
But that is not love,
that is not love when you are the only who cares,
that is not love when you are the only who give,
that is not love when you are the only one.
Love is blind is like walking with a guy who have no hands to hold yours for the rest of your life,
it is like loving him although you know the time is short.
Love is appreciation,
to appreciate what we have in the moment.
Cherish each other.
It has to be two, in sync.
It's not love when you cry in the middle of the night,
when he does not even give a damn.
That is dumbness.

Numbers

Numbers make me sick.
Numbers more than 4 digits with a symbol in front of it,
especially when it involves deadlines.
Sick.
To solve those number, I have to look through my phonebook,
translate those numbers and send it to the number I found.
Awaiting reply from THAT number.
Waiting..
counting days also involved numbers.
When the number gets bigger,
I get sicker.
My heart will beat faster,
Possiblities and chances turned into percentage in number.
Then when I am sick,
I have a book beside me with a bunch of graphs,
telling me that in less than 24 hours I will be sitting in class 511,
doing questions,
and pray to God that it will result in good numbers.
But I can't think well for now,
can't stop thinking of those numbers I have in the beginning.
Numbers lead by a symbol.

Detoxification Failure

It is 12 :18 a.m and I seriously need to go to bed now.
Otherwise, I will not be able to wake up tomorrow for my 8 a.m. Philosophy class.
And if I failed to make it to my Phil 40 class, I'll be very upset.
Why?
Because I have spent the last 2 hours working on the puzzle :D
Anyway,
I felt like a big cheat today.
Like,
REALLY BIG!
I ate a salmon, why? blame Cheesecake Factory for having chicken in all their salads.
So I had the herb-crusted salmon salad instead.
I had a bunch of carbs too!
Why?
'Cause Bryan, the server, was so nice, he brought me a bunch of yummy bread.
So Day 3 of detoxification was a total failure.
I guess now I have my "cheat of the day"
But today was seriously bad,
I can't even tell you what I ate after that for the rest of the day.
It was bad...

Okay, I really have to sleep now,
I just wanna share this awesome book that I just bought today with 30% discount from Borders.
Double the AWEsomeness.
I found it lost at the alley of Young Adult non-fiction section.
I seriously think "she" does not belong to that part of the bookstore.

It is called the Teen Vogue Handbook
it is..
inspiring..

Detoxification Cont'd

HELLO WORLD!!
I just succeeded 2nd day of detoxification with a little cheat :D
Day 1 was,
watermelon, berries, apples, water and water.....
I waited 30 minutes for my bus after work, I wished I could go and get my milk tea to kill some time..
But I could not.
So I waited and waited.. "Should I get a milk tea? Hmm"
Anyway, I almost frozen dead but I survived!
Day 2,
Baked Potato, cabbage soup, cabbage soup, and baby carrots.
I wanted to cheat so bad!
So I went to get a coffee before work, with some SUGAR!!!!
I also had a salad which was really good, or maybe I was just hungry.
I don't know if the vinegar dressing is following my plan rules,
but anyway there was also avocado and a finger-sized bread.
So I guess I cheated again :(

I guess it's fine :) Tomorrow is Veggie and Fruity day. Can't wait for day 5 when I can start having some fish for meals. I might cheat again tomorrow, I seriously don't take this thing seriously, haha!

Detoxification

Everybody say "DETOX!"
I am not planning to go on diet, I am just going to do some detox which is necessary.
Today was supposed to be my first day, almost made a good start, but failed in the end.
Started morning with grapes. Lunch was 2 fruit bowls full of watermelon and loupe.
Okay, things were going pretty well.
Then I started to get really hungry, I thought a little cheat won't harm.
So...
I grabbed a handful of tortilla chips and munched on them.
Everything still tasted healthy, unlike potato chips.
I put myself in denial mode. Obviously, my detox plan had failed.
Friend told me I should just give up today and start my day 1 all over again tomorrow.
It sucks eating fruits whole day and then some tortilla chips just came and turned my efforts into nothing :(
Alright, plan failed. Grab some noodle, some dumpling and had my dinner.
There was a cookie, I ate them too.
I have some soy milk left, drank them.
I've just bought two bags full of veggies, so I guess Imma start to do this again tomorrow.
Let's hope it works.

Day 1 : all fruits
Day 2: all veggies
DAy 3: combination on veggie n fruits.
Day 4 : bananas n milk

From Day 5 onwards, I'll have some meat on the menu :)

Let's do this!

Happy Thursday

Have I told you about Happy Thursday?

Well, earlier this semester, I don't know how, but somehow I ended up with two jobs and I've been working my ass out 7 days a week since then. After long time of persuading and begging, I finally got my Thursday off. Thursday is finally a work-free day,and so I called it Happy Thursday. I've tried very hard to make the best out of the most waited day of the week, although sometimes I failed, but I had a really good Thursday today :)

Early morning Lucy called me, told me about her sprained and swollened thumb, that she could not work and needed me to cover her shift. Sad. Disappointed. Sad. Sad.

Oh, how could you took my Thursday away from me..........................................

But there was hope, I knew that God won't be so cruel to me.

Then Lucy called again, missed it. I called her back, she missed it. Finally she left me a voice message and I listened with fingers crossed. Yipeeeeeeeee!! It was a good good news, that voice call made my day :D

Class was over at 12 p.m. Had lunch at Thai House Express, Tom Yum noodle with extra pork balls. Movies, Whip it finally. Karaoke at Fillmore. Dinner at Spices, chicken wings, pig ear, pig intestine, corn soup I MISS U!!! and milk tea at Quickly. What could be better? When my tummy is filled with good food, I am happy. Singing makes me happy too!!!

Oh at least I have forgotten about all the stresses for the past 12 hours :)

Voila!

Hey baby BLOG! I have neglected you for quite a while, or should I say it's been a while since the last time I wrote to you. Pimples popping, muffin top growing, and my mouth can't seem to stop munching on something. This is what you called as STRESS. Watching the clock ticking so fast is driving me even more crazy. I'm running out of time, so many things to do, so little time to get it done.

What causes this breakout? Don't blame in totally on the oily fried chicken I just had. Blame it on me spending too much time doing nothing, me not noting well what's going on, me who is too afraid to confront things directly, me too slake-y me too lazy. I'm busy, yes I am, busy working. Working does pay me in paper, money. But my other papers are not going well, nothing to put in my resume, not doing well in classes this semester, and going to SFSU in 2 months is just stressing. Knowing that I have to pay all the fees before I go in there is even more stressin'. I've been thinking about passing this news to my father, news about me have not told him about this semester's fees and me just found out about next semester's fees. When fees piled up, they are HUGE!

So just last week Vinnie told me she was moving out! I am losing my housemate, I better find someone else to replace her, or find somewhere else to re-place myself. I will definitely prefer re-placing myself to a better place. This area of muchos amigos is freakin' me out, I don't wanna be friend with amigo who stands in front of his house everyday give u goodbye kisses and "Take care" as you passed by. That guy who seem to say the same thing every time I walked by is definitely ill. I wanna move to Sunset, because everybody lives in Sunset, all friends, co-workers and classmates. I wanna join them in the Sunset fog! I will love it cause I love FOG!!!!! :D I've been imagining myself jogging around Golden Gate Park, drinking coffee and do some reading at the cafe, have lunch with friends and there it goes another good day at Sunset. I'm still working on my Sunset dream..... dreamm..

So what else is stressin' me out? My Philosophy lecturer, Stephan Johnson, hates me, because I never show up in his class. Deborah Goldsmith does not like me because I gave her lame excuse for being late, and I left early. Arthur Pines think I am a bad Technical Director. Cecil Hale and Sheila McFarland might not even remember me. OH MY GOODNESS!

I am so stress, all I can do is eat, eating makes me happy. But post-eating is not fun, I keep thinking about the extra fat but somehow I have no time to work out and burn those extra fat :( I have not gone to gym for 2 months now, I should have frozen my account, I still gave myself hope that I am about to go, I should work out this weekend, I had plans, but none of them went well. So here I am, thinking again... what should I do next?

The Sigh Sigh Lulaby

I am officially worried, scared and confused right now. After mid-term last week, I felt like I've been hit by a huge rock. Starring at the paper with my mind blank I realized how bad the situation was. I don't know if it is caused purely by my stupidity or is it really that hard? But no matter what, I know working 20 hours pay a contribution in this matter. I realized that none of my teachers this semester is liking me, they don't seem to give a damn about me. I am officially being included in the category of lazy students, who either show up late or does not show up at all in class. What the hell is wrong with me? Is it too late to catch up? Or am I being to caught up with having a bunch of new friends and having too much fun? I don't know, I am so scared, yet I am not motivated enough. I am too scared to take action, what should I do know? Well, I guess I know what I should do, but I dare not to. :(

Mandalay

I am so caught up with work, I have not managed my time wisely and now it seems like I'm starting to lose my mind too. Ask me what happened 5 minutes ago, it might take me 10 seconds to think. Yea. I forgot almost anything lately. Forgot I got a homework due this morning, forgot I got a quiz on Friday until I got in class and a classmate asked me "ready for quiz?" I almost fainted. OMG, what is wrong with me?

So the past few days it has been all about work. Monday supposed to be a good day to spend sometime thinking, but I had to work today 'cause eventually Lucy is having some special nightwith her BF, I totally understand that. And so no break on Monday. 8-9 class, 9-1 work and 1-3 class~ then go to work, spent 30minutes at Quickly. Off to work at 5 all the way until 1030 PM! It was hella busy, why everybody chose to come at Monday! But I had a great day at work. It started with a sweet grandma celebrated her 85th birthday, I thought it's gonna be awkward, since it was not so crowded, with the loud cheesy birthday song playing on the speakers. But Mandalay at the moment was filled with awesome customers, once the song stopped everybody cheered and clapped, Grandma's daughter got really excited and went "85 years old! 85 years old everyone!!" I could see that Mama was really happy. That is probably the thing I love about my job. Seeing people happy make my day. These customers love this place more than I do. Then these customers will show their appreciation by tipping good :D Now everything I buy cost me 4 hours of smiling face :D

Another 20 minutes I spent on the bus thinking 'bout how I have started to love my job. Well if I only work 3 days a week, I will love it double. But now, it's really tiring that I have to work almost everyday. That touchy feeling continues until I got home and saw some dirty plates on the sink, it's been 24 hours since the first time I saw them. Now I am purely pissed. I don't know what's up with my housemate, I come back every night tired and all I see is mess. Well, I know I am a messy person myself. But seriously, maybe she thinks I am always so messy she is trying to teach me some lesson? You know regularities? So no matter how hard I cleaned up the house, she will always think I am messy. OMG. I am typing this with my eyes half closed now. I have so many things to say but so little strength to go on.

Good Night World!

Mi Homie

I'm going to switch off the lights and sleep now.
Just talked to Kai, and all of the sudden I'm missing him so much :(
He told me he will be hitting the club next Saturday on a limousinee! That's so niceee, I want one too!!
I miss those times when we used to cook dinner together, soba with fried chicken :D
Every afternoon in class I would be thinking what to cook that night..
Every Tuesday is Popeye's Day, and we will go and get Fried chicken 2 for 99cents!
I remember the first day he went to work, he got home really late~
I got really worried, I went outside and found him half jumping home 0.0
Every day, he would bring me Jasmine milk tea with Egg pudding:)
Whenever we get a chance, we would catch the bus and go Ocean 24 hour and work out!
I will give him all my stuffs, and all the men in men's locker room thought he was gay because of my pink tote bag :D
Every night, we had dinner with America's next top model, or Project Runway or or or Crayon Shinchan, hahaha!
When he is home with nothing to do, he would clean the house~ decorate rooms, trying really hard to make this home a better place.
Whenever I got a day off, we would go watch movies!
Aww I definitely miss him being my housemateee. Especially those times when we could not sleep because there was mice in our house. Ah! and when we played with make up, making stupid videos with T-Pain.
Since he left, I don't cook that much anymore.

Fairytale

Let's talk about fairytale. How we grew up watching Disney series dreaming to be a princess, waiting for our prince to come and then we will live happily ever after. Things have changed now. Back then, I wanted to be the princess, but now I might wanna be one of the mean girls more. Cinderella is kind hearted and beautiful, those prince don't fall in love for nothing, and please don't believe in purely just LOVE. BS. The mean girls character back then were just too ugly, just look at Cinderella's sisters. It's no longer the way it was. The evil bad girls today are usually hot, sexy, more than a woman can be. Cinderella remains pretty, but it's no longer the same ending all the time. In fact, boys like bad girls.

I have heard of prince charming, and when I saw him my mind said "Oh he is so fine." My mind told me he is the one, but she forgot to tell me that I am not the one for him. It took me a long time to figure out that we are different. I look at my worn out MARC JACOBS, then I look at his shiny Gucci belt. Of course, those branded stuffs don't outshined him. I don't usually do that, I have somekind of prejudice with rich dudes, but not this time.

So I went to Magic Ball and asked if he would like me, it says "My sources say no." Yea my sources told me so too. I saw those friends he has, they are like a fence made of diamond and I won't go closer. It took me a long time to realize how different I am. Because when everybody else is driving out in Mercedes Benz, I have to take a bus to work. Look at that contrast, isn't that sad that it's all about money nowadays? Don't tell me that true love can overcome everything, that is bullshit. Look at Cinderella, she is hella rich dude. Her wealth is just temporarily taken by her mean step mother. Her life used to be beautiful, then it again become beautiful, all when she is the wealthy princess. See? So Cinderella is not plain kind-hearted, she is the luckiest girl in the world. That fairytale does not work on everyone, to be a Cinderella, you have to be like her, pretty, kind and rich. Now are we still dreaming here?

I wanna say I don't care, really. But it's just that one day when you meet this prince charming, and he tells you "Sorry but we are just different"

He is just not THAT into you:)

I am having this very funny feeling. Feeling which I have not had in the past two years, not as I remembered. How should I describe this? Infatuation? Crush? Definitely not in love, cause I'm absolutely not thinking clearly right now :) Things look so much better when your mind is covered with thick fog, but when it fades away, you started to think clearly and you realized that it was all just bullshit. Maybe, he is just not that into you, darling.

Let me see why is this happening. Well, first of all I have not really met a guy for the past two years. Yes, I got one Indian guy who wrote me a poem, but I managed to keep my mind really clear about that. I am glad that I did not have that let's-give-it-a-try attitude, which I had years ago and brought me tons of problems. Or maybe because nobody have told me so many sweet sweet things in the past two years, getting sugar high is never a good thing. You know guys' mouth can't be trusted, although he told you that he is just "truthfully spitting the facts." Or maybe it's because I have not felt so comfortable around someone in a really long time. Perhaps the last time I felt that way was during that bus trip from Cameron down to Ipoh when I was sleeping on Suk's shoulder. Or maybe it was because the smell of the car, smells just like my perfume. Smells good makes you feel good~ Or maybe because he is just like me, have low "laughing point" (a direct translation from chinese) which means you laugh on all shits. So you think he is funny, and he thinks you are funny, the next moment you say you guys are having a good time. Or maybe it's just because he has a nice name which makes it easier for you to keep in mind. Whatever it is, all reasons are not applicable right now.

Things turned out wrong when you realized that the next day you are hoping for him to give you a call, or send you a text. But that did not happen, and you get a little desperate, you think of texting him, but there is no point doing so. Soon you figured that you guys are just too different, and perhaps your feelings are very different too. This is such a rushy rushy feeling that happened in just 96 hours. And I think I should get over it by now.
I've been non-stoply listening to Bob Marley's "turn your lights down low" for the past 24 hours now. One more time, and I'm gonna really turn my lights down low. Just sleep Tris, Marley is not gonna give u some good good loving, hahahaha :D

Hmmm.

ARGHHHH!!!!

Now I feel kinda stupid for telling everyone about my new friend :s
stupid stupid stupid ggrr.
Well u know, it was like having feeling that u've never had in a long time.
You got so excited, you wanna share with someone.
I am basically the type of person who spit everything on anyone.
Well,
Not ANYONE, but I feel comfortable spitting things on quite a lot of people.
Wijoyo and Kevin are like one of my girlfriends :)
The stupid part is when you wanted to share but you do not know how to start,
then you will have a really weird introduction of the story.
Your friend will immediately lost interest :(
AH! But I got over it anyway :)

Going to work in 45 minutes :(
Hope I get to go home early tonight, cause everybody go to the concert yo!
I love going home early,
especially seeing all those funny expressions on my co-workers' faces.
Whenever I grabbed my bag,
They will be like "WHAT? U getting OFF? MAN! I wanna go home too!!"
Or
"Awww You are such a lucky girl.."
OMG, I couldn't stop laughing watching their expressions.

Oh Saturday!

It's a great great Saturday, I am so happy I had such a great day that I should start worrying tomorrow. You it goes all time high, tomorrow maybe all time low. OH NO WAY~!!

So early morning, nothing. After 12, Steve got here with Jessi and we went to West Portal to pick up Ghena, that's how a great day started : Had a iced green tea latte at Starbucks, sit down n just talk. Man I love talking, luckily I got a part of voice back today. THEN, after that we headed to Mandalay for lunch! I am so glad that Boss was actually pretty friendly, she gave us free dessert and free drinks! I am aware that we were not eating much, that was so nice of her :) And The greatest thing is everybody loved the food :)))) So here is where I work guys!

When clock about to hit 5, we were at Ocean Beach. It was hellaaaa sunny and not too hot, its ocean beach y'know. The sea water is freakin' cold! The best part was when Steve was trying to take a picture of us, a high tide attacked us! We, who did not plan to get wet, were WET, very WET indeed! But it's okay, we were having fun.. :) So the beach part is illustrated by pictures on my FAcebook album, that was a blast!

Work at 6:45 p.m. Got off at 10:00p.m.

got home around 11:00p.m.

Sam came and picked me up at 11:45p.m. It's so late, there is nowhere else to go. We drove around and got disappointed by all the closed destinations. In the end, we decided to head to Twin Peak, where we just chill in the car and talk. It was basically 2 hours of talking, a nice one. I don't know if I should be happy about it, he is a fun person, cool and all. But I don't know. Let it be I guess. :)

He told me Jason Marz and B.E.P were at the concert today. HOLY CRAP!

Retail Therapy

I am. Feeling. Kind of sad. Right Now.
What a weird feeling.. Hmm.

Well I guess because I figured that tomorrow's night I will be working, so is Friday's night, Saturday and Sunday nights too! I had a long long evening today. Class dismissed at 3 p.m. Got a text from Chris that says he messed up the schedule, again, and that I don't have to work today. Okay, so what I am gonna do now? It's only 3 p.m. and I'm done, I can go home now and enjoy my evening doing nothing. My heart says "Let's go to Haight St." Yea, my heart kept telling me this since yesterday when a classmate of mine who work in Ambiance told me that they are having a great sale, a rack full of $10 shoes, and especially my size! How can I resist that? I must have been crazy, I took a 43 and went all the way to Haight St alone. UHUH, it's not as bad as I thought. Although hippies were there trying to sell their kissed for $1~ okay I won't pay for that although that guy is kinda cute, because I am sure it smells like WEEEEEEED! Great disappointment, no SALE were seen. Disappointed. Went home with a cup of Thai Iced Tea from Cole Cafe, made by hippy hippy yayayayaya! :D

I failed to have my session of retail therapy. Still feeling zzz, I got home and found a box of goodies on my table, it's from SEPHORA!! my retail therapist! I've been shopping a lot on Sephora.com lately. At first I bought that many because $50 gives me a free shipping, I planned to return some of the stuffs, but I always failed to. So here's what I got:
Here is POSIE TINT, u might have seen her sister, BENETINT. They are the same, but it's in PINK color:) Look at the color, you just can't resist it. Basically, what it does is it gives you a natural I-just-got-punched face, or DAng-it's-so-cold-outside kind of look. Three strokes on your faces and start blending FAST. Otherwise, it will become a Someone-scratched-my-face-ouch! And I expected that it will gives me a very natural looking lips. Nah, I don't want natural, I want pinky. But it actually gives you this lips that say "Hey you want some Fanta?" Y'know what I mean? Should I return this? Hmm.. Maybe. Let's see if we can be good friends:)
So here is BOI-iNG! and Eye Bright. The same kind of irresistablity. During the checkout, it says there Now $8 ($30 value). So all the ladies will automatically clicked on it and add it to their carts, normal reaction. It's so much smaller than I expected! But I love boi-ing! I still don't understand how to make an instand Eye Bright tho! :s But anyway anyhow however whatever, they are good deal! :D
Then....
here is bareMinerals MATTE by BARE Escentuals! My new powder! :) The reason why I bought this? Just simple because everybody say it's so healthy, you can wear it to sleep! That means I have an excuse not to wash my face at night now, just go to bed yo! And yea, hoping to see some improvements on my face soon. Cause now, it's so dependable on all these concealer and powder yo! No way yo!!! Then this thing appeared on the screen, the BUXOM collection lip stick, plump and liner all in ONE. Sigh, so I a unconsiously clicked on it and chose the nude color, but it't so nude after all. Thought to do a return or exchange on this thig, but have not. Oh, we will see!! Ahh so this is how my retail therapist, Sephora, provide me with such a complete therapy. There are other things too, nail polish "I'm with Brad!" , brush cleaner and eye lash curler. I only wish that they can offer me therapy in cheaper price for each session :(

Aw God I feel sick now, am I going to be sick soon? No way, I can't fall sick in this country. I guess my previous swine flu virus is not totally cured yet and now it's coming back! NO! Please NO! I can't lose my voice, I can't cough and I can't be sick! NO WAY!

Let's hope it's going to be great weekend, not just a weekend working my ass out!

The Smelly Thing

I LOVE perfume :) But I only had DAISY by Marc Jacobs :s
I recently realize that I had quite a number of perfume samples, well I got a lot from Sephora lately~ I think I'm gonna have a collection soon:) Look at all those small little tubes, they smell so good. I especially LOVE the ones by Stella Mccartney, and that mini STELLANUDE is so cute! I just got it online.
Why is perfume so expensive?
I don't know, I guess it's just the label, lol.
But smells good is a big turn on, so it's important guys.
However,
the biggest turn off could be a guy who wore too much cologne, he smells like a bubbly soap.
Some people prefer not to put anything on cause they don't wanna smell like somebody else.
It's a art of scent.........

How Benefit benefits

AGREE? I try to laugh more tho :D

"I'm with Brad!"

My face says : "yeheee... it is 12 a.m. so she doesn't has anymore concealer on her face to cover up her zits and bits!"

My flower print scarf says : "Do you know she bought me because she thought I am $7, hell she found out I am actually $14 at the cashier register, haha!"

My nails say : "I'm with Braddd!!!! and I make these short fingers look super fair! Thanks to my mommy O.P.I."

So these three best friends all agree that my picture is very corny. But the only thing I can be happy about today is I love my granny scarf and my nail color. What? I know, I have weird taste. It felt like such a long long day.. 'cause I had the whole evening!! I no longer have problem sleeping and no, that's not a good news. Now I have problem waking up in the morning. SO again this morning, I woke up at 8:30 a.m. when Vinnie knocked on my door, I didn't realize I was late, I probably thought it's a dream or it's Sunday :s So guess what, missed my Philosophy class! Wrote a letter to Stephan Johnson which says:

Dear Mr. Johnson, I know you don't accept late work. However, here is my homework anyway.

and I slipped it through the door, that is going to be the first thing he step onto tomorrow morning at his office :)

9 a.m. :

I am working at lunch box again, yes again.. It's different with working in a restaurant. In a restaurant, you get to run about and get really busy.At Lunch Box, you just stand there and wait for someone to make you busy. I love making drinks actually :D Maybe I should be a bartender!
So it wasn't a really good start, but I am sure or I hope I can cope up with the work soon!

Tried to make a schedule for my life, a life based on a schedule. It says that I will have to work 30 hours a week, if I sleep 56 hours a week then I will have 82 more hours to waste, to have leisure and to make some quality time out of it. So yea, I'm trying to be a better person...

Ciao!

Good Night and don't ever ever miss your class again, Tris! <3

MASCARA-fy ME

I am obsessed with mascara, especially when they are in mini size or when they are FREE! LOL. My first LOVE with mascara started with Maybeline Colossal, it's cheap! but it works like any other branded mascaras. Oh! So here I have a handful of mascaras. those smalls one at the back is Lancome in gift set, include Defincils, Virtuose, Hypnose and XL booster and I love 'em all! But they are kind of old now, the labels faded and they look like normal tubes :( Oh yea! and I am addicted to shop on Sephora.com. They have so many good deals, u can't resist. So there I got DIOR Diorshow mascara, it's everybody's favorite, I like the scent of it. My latest ones are BUXOM by Bare Escentuals and BADGAL blue by BENEfIT, they are all great! And I am so happy they are available in mini size. Next : I want Givenchy!

What a Thursday!

I'm trying to solve a brain teaser given by Johnson.. and it's teasing my brain...

"A very special island is inhabited only by knights and knaves. Knights always tell the truth, and knaves always lie. You meet 6 inhabitants: Zed, Bart, Ted, Sally, Bob and Zoey. Zed tells you,'I and Bob are knights." Bart claims that both Zoey is a knave and Sally is a knight. Ted tells you,'Of Bob and Bart, exactly one is a knight.' Sally says that Zed would tell you that Bob is a knave. Bob says that Zed is a knave. Zoey tells u that sally is a knave and she is a knight."

So who the hell is a knight and a knave??

My whole body is aching badly now, and still gotta work tomorrow. I wonder how am I going to deal with this. Will my body get used to it? Or will my bones crack one dayy?? Hmm :( I guess I am gonna just quit the second job, there is no good for me doing it. In fact, I'm having homework coming up!

Yesterday was a bad bad day, and I got home late night knowing that the next day I will have class at 8 am, I went to bed immediately. Here is the bad bad day:

Woke up at 9:30 a.m. realized that I missed my BSCT audio class for the first time and it's just my first week :( However, I managed to attend my other class and it went well. Went home and wasted some time, took a nap at 3.... MAN it was such a good nap, but too bad, 4 p.m : I gotta go now. Gotta work my ass out for the rest of the day. So at bus stop I was, standing, sleepy and waiting for the bus... all of a sudden, a man appeared in front of me. In two seconds I realized that he is the guy that I always saw on Silver Ave and he is a freakin' lunatic. The first time I saw him, which was long long time ago, we were on the bus and he was staring at me like a freakin' lunatic! (and that is what he is). Well, that can be ignored. The second time, we were in the bus again, standing side by side and holding on the same stick, his hand on top elbow touched my hand. Well it happened all the time when bus is crowded. Then weird things happened. He started to move his hand up and down, rubbing my hand. FREAKIN' SCARY! AGAIN, I met him yesterday when I was waiting for my bus and this time he approached me like a freakin' lunatic! And he talked to me with a freakin lunatic voice,eww! and he was trying to touch my hand. Sleepy me, was speechless for a second. I moved away, told him that I don't know him and he left with a kind of smile that tells you, he will be back! And now I'm scaredddddd!!!! GGRRR!
Enough said of the freakin' lunatic. My bad bad day continued at work and I was working working working... Making 10 glasses of Shang ri las. It was very crowded outside, Nicky and Lucy were so busy that boss started to nag again. "U all are so slow!!" Nicky lost his tempered. Argued. Quit his job. He left. He left just like that, left us busy for the rest of the night. There is a wait in a Thursday evening, OMG.

Tell me how am I supposed to do with that freakin' lunatic? Cause he is freaking me out.
Now Ye Qi and Henry is giving me suggestions like, ask your friend to accompany you? I know :( But I don't really have a friend, I am on my own now. :( How sad.

I am so tired, I can't even continue writing.

It's a zzz Day

Wednesday, it's a long long day. Started 4 a.m. this morning and Okay now is 1:20 a.m. so it's almost 22 hours now. This is what happened:

• woke up a few times last night, but tried to keep sleeping 'til 4 a.m.
• Went online, got ready and went out at 5:20 a.m.
• Nextbus.com says that next bus is available in an hour, Tris panicked!
• Went to bus stop anyway and it was 5:35 a.m. still no sight of bus and it's so dark!
• Walked to BART station at fastest speed and got to work on time.
• Spent two hours at Lunch Box making croissant.
  
• PHIL class at 8. Felt sleepy and greasy, smells like ham, egg and cheese just like the croissants i made!
• Johnson said happiness is a fair amount of clear thinking.
  
• Johnson said not all stress is bad.
• Makes sense and realized that stress is unavoidable, but if we can control it, it's good stress!
  
• 9a.m. video class, still feel greasy and uncomfortable.
• Went to City Cafe with Obet and Candice, disappointed by the choices of food they have. I need some Asian food!! RICE!
• Chicken mushroom empanada was alright, i felt hungry.
• Finally 1 p.m. Still not so into the audio production part.
  
• Mark Altin looks like a great person.
• SFSU told me I can apply now.
• Got home n did laundry and sleeppppp...
• Ahhh what a good napp..
• zzzzz.. sleeping lullaby.
• Woke up at 5:30p.m. SHOCKED! It's time to go to work!!!!
• I thought I could neglected all feelings when Im busy, but it's not so.
• Felt dizzy at work, cold sweat.
• "Boss can i get off early today?" wanted to say so but couldn't.
• DINNER TIMEEE!
• Eating alone, standing : 5 minutes
• Eating alone, sitting : 10mins.
• Eating with a friend, sitting : 15mins.
• I'm going to eat alone and stand next time.
• Got a milk tea.
• Called Joshua.
  
• We talked for 1 and a half hour.
• Bought all the books, heart broken cause money is gone.
• NEWS :Delbert got a girlfriendddddddddddd <3
• 1:26 a.m. need to sleep now.
• End day with B.E.P "i gotta feeling" hopefully it's gonna be a good good night.
  

:) I love morning mist with a little sunshine.

:)

Second day of school and I am tired already. I hope this stress I am experiencing right now is not serious, so here again my day in pit points:

• Slept at 1a.m. woke up at 5a.m. I am such a morning person.
• BCST120 is just as boring as last semester, but this time I can't drop.
• Better classmates tho.
• BCST 115 is so awesome, Dr.Hale looks awesome.
• He went to SIU because it was listed as the Best Party School in PLAYBOY magazine.
• Theresa was so hyper active, that everybody was having a good time.
• Radio show, TV show, sounds FUN!
• "Desperately getting into the dying industry." -McFarland-
• Went to QUICKLY twice today :D
• Met Clara and had a nice talk.
• iim's teeth was so full of "jigong" it was so unbearable distracting.
• Another ill-feelness on him.
• Ishak story was so funny, lied to the administration that he is going to engage this Sep and fake some tears. He got the class and now graduated.
  
• Just submitted application on CSU Mentor, it's a good day!
• Thankful that I'm not working tonight, or I will probably faint.
• This forehead is heating now....
• Still not ready for work at tomorrow's 6 a.m. but I will try and see how it goes.
• First day of work is always, nerve-racking.
• Found out that UT is a Public Ivy, makes me wanna go there.
  
• Cecil Hale intro about himself was interesting, especially the part he met Michael Jackson sleeping on a table when he was 9 years old.
  
• He worked in a radio station, being the only black in the region, KKK burnt the station down.
• This neck is so so tight.
• Everybody is telling me I'm losing weight, everybody is having illusion.
  
• Wanna sleep soon at 9 p.m.
  
• Let's hope it's going to be a GOOD GOOD day!!
• Deborah Goldsmith is the HAND-OUT queen!
  

Love,
Tris

17th August 2009

Again,

• couldn't sleep last night and decided to go campus at 7 a.m.
• Added Johnson's PHIL 40 8a.m. every MWF, I don't know if I can make it to all classes.
• Johnson is not that HOT, but he is a nice guy.
• Lesson no 1. nothing is TRUE or FALSE, it's just a fact which is well supported or not well supported.
• Decided to skip 1 p.m. Altin's class cause I was so freakin sleepy.
  
• Went to Lunch Box to get a cup of hot chocolate and applied for the vacancy.
• Interviewed by a guy named Chris and he is a MALAYSIAN!
• Chris called at 3:30 p.m. and I have a tryout tomorrow at 6!
• Hated my move, cause this job give me no SSN and I have to wake up so early.
• 5:10 p.m. Vinchia told me she is hired too!
• Now, I have a reason to be excited about.
• I sensed an indonesian crowd this morning.
• Saw a lot of familiar faces, but not familiar enough to talk to them.
• Had a really good nap.
• Now ready to go to work.
• Hope to get off work early tonight :D
• Gotta call dad for this news, yay! I finally have a reason to call!

Love,
Tris <3

Days in Points

4 days in a row of work, cracking lips, chipping nails and straining muscles. Fuhh I'm exhausted, but when I look at my other co-worker's schedule, I know I should stop complaining~ Here's my days in pit points:

• Met a new co-worker named Flora, she talks like auntie.
• Eye candy of the night, a cutie in green American Apparel jacket who dined with parents and I wish to see him again.
  
• 4 birthdays on Saturday.
• First, a Spanish group of people with some cute kids and I love to listen to them talking in Spanish, Que pasa?!
• Second, a birthday surprise for a very old lady and she was touched to tears. I will too, when I'm that old and my son and grandchildren LOVE me.
• Third, a bunch of gay (maybe) who were wearing some glowing sticks around their necks and wrist. Obviously someone is having a birthday.
• Last birthday song goes to a group of gentlemen.
  
• I saw at least 4 gay couples.
  
• Sherly put an extra table numbered 88 at the waiting area and surprisingly someone is willing to sit there having dinner with the crowd waiting.
  
• Mitul almost made me late for work, I hated him for 5 minutes.
• My headphone is not working well and I certainly need to update my iPod.
• Saw a bunch of cute kids, as usual.
  
• Slept at 3 woke up at 7am on Friday.
• Slept 12 hours the next day.
  
• Joshua had some emotional breakdown.
  
• Bus in 12 minutes, managed to get a milk tea anyway.
  
• Think Katy Perry is awesome, loves Jordin's new songs.
• At 9:30p.m on Sat, Boss told us 14 people are coming, we almost fainted.
• Think Nicky is amusing, although he is always frowning.
• Very sad cause 2moro she has to work
• Very sad again, cause tomorrow is the first day of Fall semester.
  
• Hope to get the Philosophy class, cause the lecturer is good looking.
• Shopped at Sephora.com for second time this week
• Owe Kai his jacket, cause she failed to go post office this week.
  

So I can't say that my days were pointless, although almost everyday I woke up late and went to work and spent the rest of night in front of my computer. But yea, so many points of it. I "can't" wait for another day.

The Start of Yesterday Once More

Last Night, or just now, was my first of work after 2 months holiday! That makes me feel ALIVEE!! Good thing is I don't feel new to all the work, but well there were times when I just stopped and thinking what to do next. A little lost. But YEA! It's good to be back to work, busy busy busyy~ I've not move this much in a long time, in such a quick pace. I guess I hurt my back the other day when I fell from the tall chair :( Anyway, It's tiring as usual. Tomorrow night gotta work too, aw :( I can't seem to start going back to work out. But it's 4 a.m. now and I am SURE I will not be able to wake up early tomorrow and off to gym. SO yea, maybe Saturday? Sunday? Or maybe I should just wait 'til everything is done. Worries keep coming back to me. See? Whenever I stop worrying, there's gotta be something new for me. So I appreciate SFSU for making such a generous exception, however I am still unable to apply. And yea when I finally contacted the counselor, he/she told me that Radio and Television major is CLOSE for Spring! What? Do you guys hate me? REALLY? So I have no other choice left but to change my major, FOR NOW. Going in SFSU will probably a wrong decision, but what can I do? I'm so outta options. So yea let's keep praying! Prayin' HARD!

I am so tired right now. Went out with Sheila and friends after work until 3 a.m. It was not even fun. I am like a duck in a chicken crowd, Don't know what they are saying. But Hey, making some new friends is always good. I just found out the good dude in the gang is actually working in a restaurant too, and he is planning to become a bus driver!! OMG. I was surprised, I thought he is still a student or y'know.. I am not going to talk about this, 'cause I will sound annoying.

Dim the light.
Switch off the light.
Off to bed now.

Gettin' Back to Work.

Sherly, my lady bossie, called me this morning and asked me if I could work tomorrow.
Of course, the last Saturday I didn't pick up your phone.
The last Sunday I told you I had serious allergic.
I don't have any other excuse for you.
But I don't need one anyway, I can't wait to get back to work.
This is weird, so weird weird weird.
This is probably the first time me being so happy going to work.
I know that by tomorrow night I will start complaining again.
But hey,
it's been two months and I miss making money!
Working in Mandalay is tiring and hard~
No complains darling, should feel blessed that I still have job to do.
Y'know~ bad economy everybody losing their job.
So yea, it's yesterday once more.
Soon schools starts and I won't have this much time anymore.
I mean I had time of whole world right now.
No more!

:)

Freebie Brown

WOAH! It was such a awesome shower, hair mask after shampoooo :)
And the hair mask smells so good, that I can keep on playing with my hair so the scent will spread around my room... I'm in <3 with James Brown.
Well so it was that night, on transit at HK airport, I bought 3 magazines.
2 British magazines and 1 HK.
I noticed that all UK magazines come with freebies,
so I could not control myself but grab a few.
One of them, Marie Claire, comes along with James Brown hair mask.
WOW~ so I used it today and instantly falling in love.
I checked online and find it available to purchase.
Wuhoooo I would like a shampoo for combination hair pleaseee :)

<3

Hey little boy,

You are such a player, and I am like one of your toys. I am like a little toy that you like, you always have me around but you never play with me. You want me around, but you want to play with other toys too. Good thing is, you ditch them, you don't ditch me. I once thought I am special compare to others, but I guess I am just different.

Hey little master, I realized how you have mistreated me but I still keep on playing with you. Sometimes I wonder why, maybe I should just stop talking stop moving, acting like I am running out of battery. I don't hate you, I could not. I don't like you much either. Perhaps that becomes a balance equation that keep us together. Don't treat me too well darling, don't talk to me like the way you talk to your other toys. I might get jealous sometimes, I know I shouldn't. but I did, sometimes, secretly.

zet zet zet.. zzz.

That picture Santi took with Wilber Pan is driving me crazy!
Ohhh Wilber, you were such a crush of mine.
Same crazy thing happened when Daniel Wu came to SF and I didn't know,
Yea Daniel Wu is another big big crush of mine!

OMG,
I guess I don't have such luck for star struck :(

Oh, now I'm currently so in love with Jason Mraz.

am I crazy?

When the Sun Dims the Light

Oh Tris, why do you feel nothing? I walked along Ney St today for the first time in two months, but I was in a rush, I walked so fast I noticed not a thing. I guess that's what happened when time flies, I do not notice all the itsy bitsy.

It was a wonderful Summer back there. I was okay when I left, I tried not to cry although tears are just around the corner of my eyes. I walked away and I didn't turn back and see what's left behind. The sadness, I kept inside.

So hey, I am at San Francisco again. It's silent, it's clear and it's empty. My sadness ran out of myself. This place feels like a stranger. For the past two months, I'm always surrounded by people. Mother and Grandma couldn't stop arguing, it was annoying but now I miss it. Jakarta, probably the noisiest city I've ever been, noises from all sides. All of a sudden, I am here in San Francisco, again. And this place is so full of silence, I felt like to cry. I am so homesick. Less than 24 hour, miss my friends and family again.

Summer's about to end. Going back to the old life, I'm here alone in my room. My boss called me to work like how she used to. But rashes is bothering me, blame it on Singapore Sling, gave me rashes! ggrr.

In a few days, I will start my work, start my study. Life is going to be like how it used to be. All the routines and watching time flies. Hopefully things will go well. I kind of stop worrying now, but I know I shouldn't. Let's get back to work.

I'm HOME:) (about to)

Yes Summer had just begun!
Right when I got on board last night. Spent a night caught in between two Korean girls on my plane, I have to say that it was pretty uncomfortable indeed. Now I am bout 4 hours away from hugging my mum, this feeling is just undescribable. I still feel like Im not ready to go home, but well what to get ready about going home? And the funny thing is that sickness never come and bother me for the past year and now it's pissing me off. It started with sore throat, then cough, then flu, and soon people will assume I'm having swine flu. I still don't understand the hype about all this swine flu thingy. I was in US and nobody was talking about it, you won't be aware unless u watched the news on TV. But in Asia, everybody is PANICking. Being in Changi for 5 hours now, I've heard so many times announcement that well if u have flu symptoms, please consult the nearby medical clinic. I guess I'll just pretend healthy instead of volunteering to get quarantine.

The great thing is that I found a spot to shower :] USD9 for shower, I was too desperate to clean myself. I'm still wondering what to do when I get there, I wanna live everyday the fullest y'knw. It's not like I get to go home every holiday.

Alright, this free internet thing lasts only 15 minutes unfortunately.I'm trying to be fast, 6 more minutes.

Oh! I passed by Taiwan and wondering how I wished I could throw a note down there, it might randomly fall in En Ning's place. :] Alright, it won't happen. I wasn't even sitting on a window seat :(

Here comes Home Sweet Home! <3

The Worst of the Fs

May 19th 10:12 p.m. Asian American Final exam in11 hours, but I just can't seem to put my mind in the studies. It's wandering in the air, worrying about what should be worried for the next two weeks. Another two tough weeks before my Summer holiday starts officially on the SQ flight.

Here again, thought of calling my father but couldn't pick up the phone to do so. I tried to make it weekly thing, I really did. But it always took me a long time to get prepared, and sometimes until I urgently need to talk to him. Thoughts, lots of thoughts. Who know what is going to happen once I hang up the phone. Will it be a good conversation that will keep me smiling for the rest of the night? or will it be another heartbreak that will keep flashing old sad memories all night long and keep me awake? I don't know. My heart beats faster as I'm waiting for him to pick up the phone, I don't know what to expect. Everytime I can't help myself but feeling pathetic for having this kind of feeling while calling my own father. Sometimes he didn't pick up the phone, I hesitated trying again. I guess maybe God is trying to tell me that this is not the right time to call. Try again next time. There is a little sin of relieve. Alright, next time. But next time will be too long, and so it felt like we never really talked.

Family has always been the worst F of all Fs. Father is a sad word too. I try to remember myself all the time how he used to be such a great Dad. Yes, when he used to swing me with his hands and carry me on his back, he could crack the hardest pea open just to show me what's inside. I don't know since when, he just stopped being that father he used to be. I guess my family has always been a sad drama, but he managed to cover that up during my early childhood. I was happy and away from that sad truth. But now I can't help myself but to see things clearer and realized that world is not as beautiful as I used to think. It's full of grief.

I will be alright, I definitely will. Although I need someone to talk, but I found it even dangerous when you pick the wrong person to talk to. I did, told a friend. She didn't try to make me feel better, not as I remember. She reminded me how lucky she is for having a good father, and send me her empathy.

Unexciting Finally

Somebody tell me it's the end of Spring semester, CONVINCE me! Because it's just so hard for me to believe. Because I felt no relieve nor excitement. I am not even a hundred percent sure that I don't have to go to class tomorrow and all I need to do is study and take my Final exam next Wednesday and Friday. That's IT? Seriously?

Oh well, every "end" of something is always a combination of sadness and happiness. Glad that another semester had passed, sad that... it's just make me sad whenever a lecturer says "Okay! This is our last class, thank you everyone..bla bla bla." I will definitely miss Darrel Hess, he is an awesome lecturer. He said that he only hopes that from today one, we can start to think like a geographer. I have to say, I learnt a lot ftom this class and now I think more about the landscapes I see. I guess I am now thinking more like a geographer? and I will name him one of the BEST teachers in CCSF. He is just too awesome.

Acting class is definitely going to be missed and sadly I can't take any more 'sort-of' class next semester :( and since this is the only class that I made some friends in, yea I will miss deeply, Bungalow 222.

Sad thing about ending my drawing class is that I did not have a chance to use my newsprint!! It's totally new, anyone need some? I can give it to u :)

But it's not the end of everything :s Still have to work on english paper with Ryan and a final at 27th. Well hope everything will be fine and I am GOING HOMEE!! :D 4th June 4th June!

Still Sunday

4:52 p.m:

OH my God, Oh my Lord, I am almost dead :s
Although I have finished almost half of my project for Asian American class, I still doubt if I made the right decision to stay at home this whole afternoon. I wanted to go out, I really did, but I guess I need a little more motivation and a little more reason. I thought "Oh Well, I have a bunch of work on the queue." In fact, I gotta work tonight! So I guess I should just stay at home and do my homework. Now I feel terrible, head start to ache. I don't know why, but I can't bear to stay at home the for more than 3 hours in the afternoon. All my nervous system will shut down and then I will feel nothing.

Nevermind.

It's Mother's Day! I don't know if it's just in US or worldwide thing. Happy Mother's Day, mum:)
I supposed tonight will be really busy at work. Should I wish my Boss Happy MD too? Well, I don't know if she will like that. She doesn't have a child, poor thing :( So what should I do when I see her? And I am expecting a lot of mothers tonight, a lot of tables with families, isn't that just heart warming? Well, I hope so.

5:00 p.m. :

Okay a few more minutes I can start moving around and getting ready. Finally, when I get out of this house I will see the sun! Hopefully not too much wind, otherwise my hair will be covering my eyes and it will be just as dark :s

Alright, I'm so drop dead now. I can't even think about something to talk about. But my heart is beating faster without a reason, what will happen??

Oh shit, Boss just called! Need to be there 15minutes earlier! gtg ***

I Met a Gangster from '70s

Vinchia said: " I felt like to go Chinatown."
I said: "Let's go then!"

So right after classes, we headed back home and ran along the steep road in front of our house to catch Bus 44. Going to Chinatown means MILK TEA from Sweetheart Cafe and lunch at SAM WO for me. Once in a while I'll get some egg custards from Golden Gate Bakery. Okay I am not going to describe how 'delicious' Chinatown is, it will just make me hungry.

My roomie is working on this Asian American project about youth gangsters in Chinatown, sounds fierce to you? So the main purpose of visit today was to take some pictures where these gangsters used to hang out and also places where some killings took place in the old days. It was a whole new way of seeing Chinatown, somehow I could not smell the 'delicious' goodies anymore. We were walking along these dark alleys where Vinchia started telling me stories about these gangsters at the 70s. At the meantime, you could actually spot some 'gangster'- looking uncles around you. Who knows these people's history? All of them look like just one of those grandpas who fight for seats on the bus. Those innocent-looking granpas, nobody know about their glorious past. Well, now I know and I am sure gonna be out of their way on Bus 30 next time. The seats are all yours, grandpa :)

THEN, I spotted this bald-headed guy hanging out on the street who turned out to be the main character of my roomie's project. His name is Raymond Chou. Well, something like that, I am not really sure. He was SO FRIENDLY, you will never know that this guy had killed so many people in his past. He was all smiles, 50 year-old yet looks more like 40 y-o to me. I guess he is used to being approached by people, that is so cool! My roomie is definitely getting an A for that project, we even took pictures with him! He also told us this documentary about him "Underworld" which is going to air in National Geographic coming soon. (Geography? Geographic? Why am I so ignorant.)

Okay well, what I am trying to say that it was a pleasant visit to Chinatown. Definitely coming back soon for souvenirs :) yay!